Your Holiday Counterfeit Gift-Buying Guide!

With Christmas right around the corner, we’re heading into the busiest shopping period of the year. As always, though, the closer we get to December 25, the more barren the store shelves become. So what can you do if your kids are dying for a PlayStation 4 and the stores are sold out?

Simple, just give them a shiny new PolyStation, the gift that says “I didn’t care enough about time management to get you what you really wanted, but I do care enough to give you something from the international world of knockoff goods.”

OK, so your kids are likely to immediately spot that your gift of a PolyStation is a fake, given that despite ripping off the name of Sony’s original game console, the box is plastered with the name of rival Nintendo (not to mention software developer Namco, for some reason).

Even if your kids do accept the PolyStation as genuine, you have two problems. The first is their acute gullibility, which will make them targets of not only currently active con men, but also draw back into action grifters and charlatans who have been retired since those terms were commonly used.

The second problem is that the PolyStation box shows a picture of a first-generation PlayStation, which hasn’t been the cutting edge of video gaming technology since 1994. No kid is going to be impressed with that. Unfortunately, the PolyStation 4 seems to still be under development, but in the meantime, you can probably tide them over with a Mini PolyStation 3. Which in a weird way actually looks kind of cool.

Or maybe they prefer to do their gaming on the go? In that case, why not pick up one of these slick little numbers?

But maybe you’re worried about the health effects of your kids sitting on the couch playing games all day. Wouldn’t it be better for them to play something with motion controls, where they at least have to get up and move around a bit? Something like Nintendo’s Wii, but preferably with a much lower price, and if it’s at all possible, a name that’s even more evocative of a stream of urine.

Or maybe you’re more into retro games. How about a copy of Super Mario 9, which has somehow appeared out of nowhere without Nintendo ever producing a game titled Super Mario 4, 5, 6, 7, or 8.

Speaking of Nintendo, technology buffs have grumbled for years about the company’s Wii and Wii U not being able to play DVD and Blu-ray movies. Now you can address this problem in the least-effective way possible by buying a DVD player that looks like a Wii, but, er, can’t be used to play games.

On the other hand, if you’re hoping to avoid buying counterfeit goods, there’s a simple test you can apply. If the name transforms into that of a more famous company when you squint, it’s probably not on the up and up.

Posted in: Counterfeit,Holidays,Technology